After returning from Charlotte on Sunday we headed out to the local Mexican restaurant, Bandido’s for a little birth day celebrating (Jay’s birthday was Sunday and mine was the next day). We decided to combine this framily celebration with the long awaited meeting of El Gigante.
About several weeks ago Brian and I went to eat at Bandido’s and I noticed a t-shirt hanging on the wall that said “I conquered El Gigante”. Apparently Bandido’s has an exceptionally large burrito, that if eaten all in one sitting (I’m assuming with no vomiting) results in the gift of the ‘I conquered’ shirt. Initially I thought nothing of it. But as we were leaving I headed back to the bathroom and ended up waiting about 5 minutes. Well hanging on the wall right outside the bathroom was a frame of pictures, all showing people proudly holding up an empty plate. It didn’t take long to figure out that in addition to the t-shirt, you also get your picture displayed proudly on this wall, for eternity. After looking more closely at the pictures I noticed a trend… all but 3 of them were male (and of those 3 only 1 of them was definitely a woman). Immediately my feminist instincts kicked in and I decided not only did I want to join all these men on the wall, but I NEEDED to. And so the quest of El Gigante was born.
Since then, I’ve spoken of it many times, made some half-hearted attempts at a backwards plan, and talked about it some more. One taco night at Laura and Snook’s I even convinced Laura to join me. But first, it was decided, we needed to go on a scouting trip. A trip to Bandido’s where we had no intention of actually conquering El Gigante, but more sizing up the opponent. We would split the Gigante, see how it tasted, how full we were after half, and whether or not this was something we actually wanted to/could do.
That day was Sunday.
And I’m not gonna lie, as we waited for the Gigante to be delivered, I was actually a bit nervous. What if it took up two plates? I had eaten pizza the size of my face before, but what about a burrito the size of my body? What if all my trash talk meant nothing, and I’d have to admit that I could never really conquer El Gigante? What if I threw up all over the table during my birthday week?
When it arrived I was relieved to see that it did sit on only one plate, and was only slightly larger than my face (I’m lucky to have been born with a giant head). Objects in the picture are smaller than they appear. I swear.
We started by cutting off small pieces and putting them on our individual plates, slowly picking away. And when I say slowly I mean we ate, together, about 2/3 of it. Now let me add some context. At this point I knew Laura had made me a birthday cake and I wanted to leave room for it. And we had a large Chinese lunch at 2 with Rodney and Kim, followed by a Cookout milkshake at 5 on the way home. All that in mind, I am confident we both could conquer El Gigante alone. And I think that’s enough for me.
Perhaps the conclusion of this can best be summed up by a quote from Brian: “When did feminism become wanting to be as stupid and gluttonous as men?” I think I’m satisfied just knowing I could do it, if I wanted to.
Taste of El Gigante: 8. Pretty darn good.
Our Conquering of El Gigante: 3.
Knowing we could conquer El Gigante if we wanted to: 10.
