The Bachelor: Jason & Molly’s Wedding

This post will need to begin with a little background info. on what went down two seasons ago on The Bachelor, and more importantly, the most dramatic ‘After the Final Rose’ EVER.

• On the finale of The Bachelor: Jason’s season, Jason sends Molly packing and proposes to Melissa.  They’re overjoyed and jump in a pool.

• Immediately after this airs, we head to ‘After the Final Rose’.  We see Jason with Melissa first.  Long-time fans are thinking… ‘This is weird.  Normally they bring out the rejected one first so they can chat, and then end happily ever after with the engaged couple being seen in public for the first time.”  Sure enough, he dumps Melissa on national television.

• Next, out comes Molly, with no clue what just happened.  She’s expecting the classic ‘dumpee’ interview.  Instead she gets a ‘I still love you and want a second chance’ from Jason.

• She’s shocked.  Not sure what to think.  ‘Is this a joke?’  Wait, don’t ask those questions.  This is what every dumpee wants… YES!  I’LL TAKE YOU BACK!  LET’S GET MARRIED!  Okay, not quite that dramatic, but she does agree to have a drink with him afterwards and talk about it.

• We find out months later they are now engaged and in love.  ABC agrees to pay for their wedding if they air it on TV.

TA DA!  Here we are, March 8, and it’s their wedding day!

PLANNING YOUR WHOLE WEDDING IN ONE WEEKEND: 4

I can’t even imagine!  Weeks before the wedding and they had done nothing.  Your first reaction is “WTF?!”, but then you realize that the world’s best wedding planner, event planner, cake maker, jewelry designer, dress maker, etc. are all on your team to make this happen.

So actually, what could be better than spending a weekend in LA (for free) to do nothing but make decisions.  Then everyone else gets to work and you prepare to party.

I think this is how I’d like to get married.

WEDDING THEME: 8

I must admit, I totally dug their theme.  Especially when compared to Trista’s at the last Bachelor Wedding.  Pink anyone?

This one was a lot more natural and ‘earthy’, with lots of greens, browns and whites.  I loved all the leaves, and I especially loved the invitations

CORNINESS: 4

It’s to be expected that there’s going to be some corniness on a wedding show, but when Jason kept scanning Molly during the registry portion of the show, it was a bit much.

And I have to be honest, this was one of the first times in all of my time watching the show that I felt like they were acting.

SPONSORSHIP: 5

I completely understand, but it was EVERYWHERE!  This is how they finance an expensive wedding, and I don’t blame Molly and Jason a bit.  Everything for free?  Yes please!  I just couldn’t help but constantly notice the name brands that were popping up left and right.  And it was clear who paid… the apple symbol on several computers was strategically covered while there was no shame in the rest of the name dropping.

MOLLY’S REHEARSAL DINNER DRESS: 9

It took ‘little black dress’ to the next level.  Not plain at all, and looked INCREDIBLE on her.  -1 because it was surely donated by a top designer just to be seen on TV, meaning I can never score one for myself.  I’ll get over it.  In the meantime, loving it on her.

WEDDING PLANNER BITTERNESS: 2

Okay, so the weather wasn’t great.  In fact, it looked like a hurricane was about to happen.

“Normally there would be a Plan B, but that choice wasn’t made.  I would have made that choice, and we would have been nice and cozy and warm inside.”

Hmmm… do you really wanna call out the Bride and Groom on national TV on the day of their wedding?  Pretty sure that might not be a good idea… especially if you were hoping this spot would get your more business.

MOLLY’S HAIR: 6

After all the excitement about her celebrity hair-stylist, I must admit I was kind of embarrassed for her when I saw it. Thankfully they had recovered it by the time she walked down the aisle, but seriously, what was going on with the first run?

WEDDING WEATHER: 3

So the hurricane weather has to be minus a lot for:

1) almost ruining the outdoor wedding with no backup plan

2) freezing out all the guests

3) ruining the hairdos by the fabulous, famous hairdressers

HOWEVER, the rain gave way in time for the wedding, and Molly walked down the aisle to ‘Somewhere Over the Rainbow’ with an actual rainbow in the sky.  You can’t ask for much more than that   +3

NO ONE GIVING THEM AN UMBRELLA WHEN IT STARTED TO POUR DURING THEIR VOWS: 0

She’s wearing the most expensive outfit there, and it’s their wedding, yet everybody sits there watching, comfortable with their umbrellas, and no one gets up to cover them.  Totally shocked by this.  And disappointed.

THE PR SPIN BEHIND THE TELEVISED WEDDING: 8

After watching all of it, and listening to both their stories and the stories of their family and friends, I like Jason a bit more.  I’ve also decided this is why they decided to televise their wedding.  After the ‘horrible, terrible, awful, very bad year’ I can only imagine they wanted a way to win over the public again and hopefully put the lid on all the tabloid trash talk.

I think it may have worked.  After two hours of seeing them be pretty normal, and nice, people, it’s hard to still hate him.  Especially now that Melissa’s married too.  Everyone’s happy

NEXT WEEK’S ‘BEHIND THE ROSE’ 20/20 SPECIAL: 6

God these producers are good.  I thought I finally had my Monday nights back (BodyFlow anyone?) until I saw tonight’s ad for next week’s ‘Behind the Rose’ 20/20 special, with investigative reporting about the Bachelor.  I suppose I can give them one more week

Until then, just living for the tens!

The Bachelor: Season Finale

TENLEY’S IMPRESSION ON THE FAMILY: 10

In all my years watching The Bachelor (and The Bachelorette) I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a family visit go so well.  The father was in tears almost immediately, the mom was picturing her as part of the family, and the sister-in-laws loved her.  Everyone was convinced except for Jake.

VIENNA’S IMPRESSION ON THE FAMILY: 2

You couldn’t help but laugh at the start of Vienna’s family visit.  They were so charmed by Tenley, and Jake had already given them such a bad impression of Vienna, it was bound to not go well.  Her immaturity showed immediately, in her word choice, in the way she speaks, in the ‘playful’ way she answered their questions.

FAMILY: So what is it you like about Jake?  (a classic Bachelor family question)

VIENNA:  Ummmm… well…. I don’t wanna give him a big head (grin, haha).

Basically she didn’t even tell his family why it is she’s still there, and why she deserves the ring.

Then she goes on to tell them that none of the girls liked her because she tells it like she is.  One of the sister-in-laws asks if she thinks she’s pretty (since Vienna said she couldn’t lie), then if she looked fat in her outfit, to which Vienna thought it was appropriate to answer yes (‘jokingly’ of course).  AWKWARD.

She also had the nerve to talk trash about Tenley, the sweetest girl alive, behind her back.  Little did she know how much the family had loved her, therefore how much this probably hurt their impression of her.

I will admit she did a bit better in her one-on-two time with the sister-in-laws, and one-on-one time with the mom, hence the +2.

Overall this parent meeting was a bit painful to watch.  And I’m pretty sure Jake’s dad will never forgive him for not picking Tenley.

JAKE’S ADMISSION TO HIS DESIRE FOR A LITTLE ROUGH-HOUSING: 10

‘I’m not sure Tenley knows about my playful side- the side that comes from growing up with two brothers.  Basically, I don’t think she knows yet that if she stands on the edge of the pool, I’m gonna push her in.’

First thing he’s said all season that makes me like him.  A lot.

From the parental visits we moved on to the ‘last dates’.  I’ve got to give Vienna some credit here.

VIENNA’S LOVE NOTE: 8

While a bit cliche, the last note she wrote him did what she does best one last time.  From the very start Vienna has been super open with how she feels about Jake, and honestly I think this is one of the big reasons she stuck around.

We as audience members see all the confessionals, so know how much the women like Jake.  We forget that from his perspective, without them telling him, he might have very little idea what they’re feeling, and whether they’re into him.  He seems a bit insecure, so a woman who’s constantly telling him how she feels is pretty appealing.

However, I still don’t get what that ring is all about and why she felt the need to give it to him.

WEIRD, AWKWARD SHOTS WHERE THEY STAND AND STARE: 3

Especially the season finale, but really all throughout the season, we get these nice, beautiful long shots of women staring out over their balconies.  There’s no one who just does this naturally all the time, so all I can think about when I see them is how awkward it probably is when the producers ask them to stand on their balcony, or by the beach, or somewhere else equally beautiful, and look off thoughtfully.  I wonder if they’re actually thinking about Jake at all…

VIENNA’S TUTUS: 2

I’ve had just about enough of this one bikini we see Vienna in in almost every episode.  You know, the one with the tutu on the bottom.  JAKE- BUY HER A NEW BATHING SUIT.  One that might be worn by someone not on spring break, or 7 years old, please.

JAKE’S FAKE OUT: 3

I know The Bachelor has been on a while now, and each Bachelor/Bachelorette has to work hard to make their own special moment (aka the proposal) special, but Jake went out of his way to make Vienna think she was going home.  There’s a certain point where it’s just plain mean, and I think he hit that point.

TENLEY’S FAILURE TO COMMENT ON HER BROKEN DRESS: 0

Of course the first thing they do on ‘After the Final Rose’ is show the last 10 minutes of the show over again (despite the fact that we LITERALLY just saw it), but with an added screen showing Tenley’s face as she watches.

Well, as I’m sure everyone noticed, the back of her dress appeared to have broken open right before walking up to Jake.  It appeared ripped, and was practically hanging open.

When they cut back to her after the clip I couldn’t believe she didn’t comment on it!  It seemed like it would have been an appropriate response when Jake first asks ‘So what were you thinking as you watched that again?’

I think this quote sums up the evening:

‘I feel like I’m trying to talk people into Vienna…’

Welcome to your new life Jake.

ALI AS THE NEXT BACHELORETTE: 8

I have a theory about this…

Ali makes it into the final four… she kinda likes Jake and is having fun, but realizes out of the four left she’s got the best chance of being the next Bachelorette (since every Bachelorette has come from the Bachelor season before, this is a pretty safe bet).

So, rather than take her chances sticking around, meaning she might have to actually be with him, she makes up the fact that her job ‘won’t let her stay’.  She leaves dramatically, allowing everyone to still love her AND giving her a shot at Bachelorette (since if she chose to leave because she didn’t like Jake enough I’m pretty sure she’d be out of the funning).

Now all of a sudden her work is okay with an even longer extended break… interesting.

-2 for the sketchy manipulation, but other than that I kinda like her, AND it guarantees yet another season of Bachelor(ette) ratings!

Well, that’s it for this season friends!  Until next season, just living for the tens

The Women Tell All!

*WARNING*

I don’t directly give away anything in this post.  However, if you’ve been watching, and are even a little bit intelligent, the following post may ruin parts of the ending.  Just warning you now.

THE WOMEN’S COMMENTS ABOUT TENLEY: 9

I love Tenley.  Let me start off by saying that.  How can you not love someone that sweet and genuine?  But it is true that sometimes she comes off as a bit too sweet.  So I was cracking up when they showed a sequence of clips where the women said things like:

‘I’m pretty sure she walked right out of a Disney movie.’

‘She has to sh*t rainbows.’

‘I’m pretty sure she dreams in cartoons.’

I think all of the above are true…

‘THE BACHELOR’S’ DECISION TO BRING ROSLYN BACK: 5

I’m so on the fence about this one.  Selfishly, I kinda enjoyed watching it.  Although, if we’re being honest, I felt awkward the whole time.  It reminded me of those times when you’re hanging out with some friends and two people start fighting right in the middle of everyone.  You don’t want to get involved, but it’s so awkward to just sit/stand there and watch. Those who were friends with Cher and I growing up surely know exactly what I’m talking about.  I’m not sure I want to feel that uncomfortable when watching television…

But it certainly was the most dramatic ‘Women Tell All’ ever, so if that’s what they were going for, well done.  I’m pretty sure Chris Harrison probably regretted the decision when she whipped out ‘He didn’t think you were friends when you were hitting on his wife in Australia’.  Classic ‘I won’t dignify that with a response’ came back at her.  The Bachelor or verbal boxing match?  Who can tell these days.

ROSLYN’S DECISION TO COME BACK: 2

I’m pretty sure she’s the one who got the raw end of this deal.  I can say with 97.5% certainty that she blatantly lied throughout the entire show, as multiple women have eyewitness accounts of misbehavior with ‘The Producer’.

So really, she ended up losing all credibility, had to put up with the awkwardness of the return, and will later have to watch all the horrified looks of the audience members as she watches it replayed.  Not pretty.

JAKE’S NEW HAIR: 4

I was a bit surprised when I first saw him, but it’s clear he needed a new look after the season finished.  Knowing what I know about the end, I’m guessing he had to cover up some gray hairs, and blonde just wasn’t doing the trick.

JAKE’S STABILITY: 3

Is it just me or did he seem on the verge of tears the entire time he was on the show?  Keep in mind this is post-season finale.  I’m betting things don’t end up quite how he wanted with the ‘woman’ he picks and now he’s feeling a bit of regret seeing all this awesome women.  Just saying.

THE BACHELOR BLOOPERS: 10!!!

If only the show weren’t edited and this is what they showed all season.  Bachelor producers?  Are you there?  Are you listening?  You’re about to lose me, but if you turn the season into all bloopers I’m yours forever.  Please believe me, what I say is true.

STALLINGS OFFER TO TAKE OVER AS GUEST BLOGGER WHILE I TRY IT OUT FOR A SEASON: 7

First of all, I’m pretty sure her posts would be more entertaining than mine.  Second of all, I’m not sure Scott would be a big fan of this idea…

However, sometimes you have to sacrifice for true undercover blogging.

How could I lose if I brought out my awesome tights?  SHOE. IN.

Until then, just living for the tens!

Bachelor: Week 7

Again I missed the first half of the show due to dinner out with a friend in town.  However, no need to worry thanks to:

STALLINGS COMMITMENT: 10!

While there are many folks who watch every week, or just read my ratings, no one is as dedicated as Stallings (a former colleague at my old school).  Not only does she Gchat me during the show with entertaining comments, leaves thoughts on the blog, and tonight even sent me messages while I was out to dinner letting me know what was going on.  Couldn’t ask for anything more   Do I see a guest rating in the near future?

CATCH PHRASES: 1

I am SO sick of hearing about their ‘journeys’ and how excited they are for the future.  Not only are there the ‘Bachelor’ catch phrases that we hear every season, but each girl has their own too that they can’t stop saying.  Tenley couldn’t stop talking about ‘imagining dancing together forever’, and neither Jake or Vienna can stop commenting on how much she can ‘be herself’ around him (ironic that she’s actually hiding a whole lot about her past).

NUMBER OF COMMERCIALS AT THE END: 2

I don’t really like them to begin with, and when you prolong a rose ceremony so that it literally takes over a half hour, well now you’re just pushing your luck.  +2 because that’s about the time Murph starts whining at the door every week, and it means I have more time to take him out without missing anything important

VIENNA’S VOICE: 7

Gotta admit that while I don’t like much about her, she does have her voice going for her.  Or maybe it’s just the sickly sweet voice of Tenley and the nasaly, wobbley voice of Gia that make it sound good…

MY INABILITY TO PORTION CONTROL MEXICAN FOOD: 2

It’s really good, so I understand why (hence the two points), but I’m sitting here pretty uncomfortable thanks to tonights visit to Torero’s…

ST. LUCIA: 8

BEAUTIFUL.  I’d sign up for the Bachelor if I was guaranteed a trip there.  Maybe I should just get a job instead…

VIENNA’S TUTU SKIRT: 0

As if it wasn’t already an issue that she’s so young, but to choose a bathing suit with a tutu?  Seriously?  Someone should have helped her out knowing that she was going to be on national television.  Stay tuned for a picture.

GIA’S MATURITY: 10

Seriously, couldn’t be more impressed with her exit.  I found Jake to be a bit patronizing as he tries to tell her what an incredible girl she is right after dumping her.  Yet Gia could not have been more mature and classy, telling him she wanted him to be happy and that she believed there were two great girls left (clearly she was forgetting Vienna was one of them) and he needed to do what was right for him.

Next week the women return for The Bachelor: The Women Tell All!!!  Can’t wait

The Bachelor: Week 6

I realize this is a day late, and by my blog stat keeper I can tell folks were hoping to find it yesterday.  It’s been a slower transition from back from NYC this time around, as I have a lot of work in the month of February.  That, and this Monday I baked some incredible V-day cookies while watching the Bachelor, and therefore couldn’t rate while watching.

Excuses aside, here are this week’s ratings.

REALITY STEVE: 5

About two weeks ago (thank you Scott) I discovered a spoiler blog called Reality Steve.  Apparently just a furniture salesmen from Texas (or something like that), some sources happened to fall in his lap and he began blogging about it.  These ‘sources’ are still unknown, but must be good as he made predictions at the beginning of the season that have all come true.  Each week he writes about who will be going home, how, and all other drama involved.

Of course there’s a part of me that wants to know these things, so I couldn’t resist reading. But now I already know who’s going to win, and before each episode I have a good idea as to what’s going to happen.  Kind of a bummer.

But do I keep watching?  Absolutely.  And I have no idea why.

ASKING THREE SETS OF PARENTS FOR THEIR DAUGHTER’S HAND IN MARRIAGE: 2

I respect his desire to be polite and ask the parents, I really do.  But if this isn’t hard enough on all the women involved, don’t tease their parents.  You may not know yet, and there may be a possibility that you marry each of them, but when you ask their parents if you can marry their daughter, you’re giving them the idea that you’re going to propose.  This seems to me like a giant tease, and just doesn’t seem right.

GIA’S FAMILY’S ACCENTS: 7

So classic New York, and it kept me entertained throughout their entire visit.  Plus, it screams ‘don’t mess with me’, and I’m hoping that’ll convince him to keep her around and cut Vienna.  Now that I think about it, maybe it was more the ‘if I have to hunt you down and break both your legs’ comment than the accents…

TEARS AT TENLEY’S HOUSE:

It was a bit out of control.  Being emotional is okay.  I suppose this is a somewhat emotional situation.  But do you really want your entire family breaking down into tears the whole time Jake’s there?  You are, after all, trying to convince this man to pick you to spend the rest of his life with.  I’m not sure a life full of tears is that appealing…

That being said, I really liked her ballet dance.  I think she’s cute

ALLIE’S DECISION TO LEAVE: 9

Again, one of the reasons I like this girl is because she seems like a real person.  She has a real job (for Facebook no less), she’s not a supermodel, and she seems pretty down to earth.  There’s little drama (and who can blame her when it comes to Vienna), and she seems like a lot of fun.

So when this week she decided to leave the show in order to keep her job back in San Francisco, I don’t blame her one bit.  Yeah, she was probably falling for Jake, but let’s be honest, she can probably do better.  Not to mention, leaving like this could possibly earn her the next Bachelorette season (although for the record, I think she’s too young).

Overall while admittedly a tough choice, I like to see people acting normal on these shows and recognizing that having a job right about now is kind of a priority.  Especially if it’s one you like.

FINDING A WEBSITE THAT HAS PICTURES OF THAT WEEK’S EPISODE: 10

Until now I’ve only posted pictures of the individual girls from their intro photo shoot, but now that I’ve found a couple Bachelor review sites, I should be set on week-by-week photos.  LOVE IT!

TENLEY’S GREEN DRESS: 8

I just think she’s adorable.  And when she strutted (maybe not the right word for Tenley as she doesn’t seem the type to strut) in to this week’s rose ceremony in this cute green dress, I have to admit I was even more impressed.  Especially compared to Vienna’s trashy tight purple dress.  Too harsh?  Maybe.  I’m just bitter she’s still here.

Until next week, just praying that Vienna finally leaves…

The Bachelor: Week 5

Despite my Dad’s threats that he would quit reading my blog if I continued to rate The Bachelor, I’m back with yet another week’s worth

After hitting up BodyFlow at 7:30 with my favorite instructor, and following a car going 7 mph on the way home, I came into tonight’s episode a bit late…

CORRIE AND JAKE’S FIRST KISS: 7

Once they finally kissed, it was cute, fitting, and the atmosphere (surrounded by fish tanks) was awesome!  However, it took WAY too long, and that awkward boat ride was KILLER.  I know they’re able to edit however they want (example, adding in weird goose sounds), but some things can’t be created, and that awkwardness is one of them.  Nice recovery though

ALLIE’S CLASS: 9

I have to be honest, I really liked the way she responded to Jake’s attempt at discussion about Vienna this week.  This conversation inevitably comes up every season when two of the girls (or guys) don’t get along, and just need to tell the Bachelor everything annoying/bratty they do while he’s not around.  Allie, however, passed on the opportunity.  She instead made it clear that she’s interested in him, but also that she wants him to be happy, and it doesn’t matter what she thinks about the other girls.

And she’s right.  It doesn’t matter what she thinks.  It matters what I think, and I think Vienna needs to go.

RUNNING IN THE WATER WITH THEIR SHOES ON: 1

At the very end of Allie and Jake’s one-on-one he asks her if she runs in the water.  Classic, and it makes good TV, but to do it with your shoes on?  Why do these people work so hard to seem ‘spontaneous’?  When did this become the #1 personality trait when dating?  And to go to the extent where you’d potentially ruin a pair of expensive boots (which I’m guessing they were) just to show your ‘spontaneity’, well that’s just dumb.  Doesn’t anyone value common sense???

VIENNA’S CLASS: 3

Sometimes she seems a bit like a normal girl, but most of the time she seems like a self-centered spoiled brat.  She thinks it should all be about her, and that showed when she attempted to sneak and stay in Jake’s bed during a 2 on 1 overnight date.  I’ll admit, part of this rating is based on past performances, but it all adds up.  I think she needs to grow up a little bit.  Although, I would like for him to see her around her family.  Maybe then he’ll see the spoiled princess side that makes her so unattractive.

FUN THE GIRLS HAVE TOGETHER WHEN VIENNA’S NOT AROUND: 10

I can’t speak for all their fun, but at the end of tonight’s show they certainly appeared to be having a good time singing some opera while Vienna was MIA with Jake.  Makes me like them even more

NEXT WEEK’S TEASER: 10

It appears that next week may be the most dramatic rose ceremony ever.  Or let me rephrase, the most dramatic non-existent rose ceremony ever.  They say the ‘tables will be turned’, which tells me that one of the girls decides to leave, but it shows all four standing and waiting at the rose ceremony.  So I must admit I’m a bit confused, but that much more excited for next week!  Stay tuned!

The Bachelor: Week 4

Another Monday, another riveting episode of the Bachelor.  While not ‘the most dramatic rose ceremony ever’, Jake is definitely not playing by the rules.  At the rate he’s going, he’ll be engaged by next week, married the following, and popping out babies by ‘After the Final Rose’.  Stay tuned!

Now on to the ratings…

JAKE’S STRUT: 1

Has anyone else noticed his somewhat ridiculous strut he’s always working?  Any time the girls are approaching he struts up, then positions himself with both legs a little too wide and strikes a pose.

Again, reinforces my theory about his former coolness (or lack thereof), which created a need to invent a strut for the purposes of this show to make himself feel a bit more badass.

He needs a better strut coach is all I’m saying.

JAKE CALLING OUT VIENNA: 9

Again, I like his honesty.  During their one-on-one time he addresses the weird/obnoxious behavior she frequently displays around the other girls (hence why they hate her), and warns her about fixing it.  Most would ignore the difficult conversation, but he dove right in.

-1 because he still gave her a rose.

TWO-ON-ONE: 3

Kathryn?  Kathryn who?  How do we have no idea who this women was until tonight?

Ah ha.  Now I remember.  The girl with the fake wedding ring. No surprise she ended up gone.  Especially when the very little alone time she had with him she spent complaining about how little alone time she has with him.

As for Ella, I feel a little bad for her.  He basically tells her she’s perfect but has no good reason for getting rid of her.  At least she exited gracefully instead of trying to convince him he was trying to make a mistake… you know who you are.

+2 for the drama and the suspense.

+1 for the conversation with Jill and Stallings throughout the date debating who was going to go.  Stallings gets a 10 for her prediction.

ALLIE’S SWEATSHIRT: 10!

LOVED it.  Pretty blue color, appeared to have a hood, and was cut in a total Flashdance way.  Reminds me of something I may or may not own and wear far too often…

A BIT OF HYPOCRISY:2

I find it interesting that Jake goes on and on about how difficult rose ceremonies are, this one included, and then constantly is removing roses and cutting more women than necessary.  He says he doesn’t like hurting them, but then continues to eliminate people who don’t need to be eliminated (yet) and keeping those who desperately do (VIENNA!).

+2 because I do genuinely appreciate his honesty with the women.

RACCOON CLIP AT THE END: 10

Well done videographers.  If you turned it off after ‘Next Week’s Teaser’, you missed out.  Somehow they managed to catch a bunch of raccoons hanging out around the girl’s firepit, waiting for them to leave some scraps.  It doesn’t take a genius to figure out they’re an easy target…

First there was one in a tree, then three poking out around the edge watching the girls, then one down on the ground right behind a girl’s head.  The guy filming clearly saw it, and focused on that while you see this girl yawning in the foreground.  HILARIOUS.

LOVED IT.

The Bachelor: Episode 3

I’m going to refrain from commenting on the fact that I haven’t updated since last week’s Bachelor…  so on to the ratings!

I’ll admit I missed the first 45 minutes (which I will promptly catch up on tomorrow when it’s posted online), so this rating is solely based on what I saw from 8:45 on.

True to the rules, I will not be rating people.  Only their actions

MICHELLE’S GRASP ON REALITY: 2

I think generally she knows what’s happening around her, however when it comes to Jake and the other girls in the house, she seems a bit confused.  While she’s said more times than anyone else that she’s here for the ‘right reasons’ and to ‘make Jake her husband’, she’s threatened to leave twice.  Seriously?

ELIZABETH’S TEASING: 1

‘Don’t kiss me until you know I’m the one.’

‘But do you want to kiss me?’

‘How about now?’

‘Boy, don’t you wish you could kiss me?’

Girl, if you think that not letting him kiss you is enough to win you an engagement ring, you and Michelle need to become friends.  He’s got plenty of other women willing to kiss him, and I think he’s catching onto your game.

And, you’re gone.  Guessing she might revisit her tactics in the future.

JAKE’S COMMON SENSE: 7

Thank god Jake got his act together and called Elizabeth out on her games.  He told her exactly what I was thinking.  THANK GOD.  I take back what I said last week, as it appears he is willing to stand up to some of the women.

He also called Michelle on her bluff and asked her to leave.  He’s turning out to be a lot more honest than other Bachelors, which is both a surprise and a relief.

Still missing some other obvious things, however.

ELLA’S OUTFIT CHANGES: 5

Sweet that Jake flew in her son for her birthday (hmmm… that’s never been done before… see Jason’s season).  But was it necessary to bring spare clothes and change throughout the date?  And how did she pack them?  I didn’t see her bring a large bag with her on the helicopter… makes me begin to question the ‘reality’ of it (shhh… DON’T tell my dad.  He’s been trying to convince me of this for years).

That being said, both outfits were super cute

JAKE’S ENDURANCE: 3

He looks tough, but I’m worried.  From the parts I watched, I heard him say multiple times, on multiple different days, ‘I’m just ready for this day to be over’, or ‘This has just taken a lot out of me’.

Then during the rose-ceremony intro he was super dramatic and addressed the two girls (as of now unnamed) who wouldn’t be receiving a rose and said that ‘thinking of his future wife is the only thing that’ll get him through this rose ceremony’.

Buddy, we’re in Week 3.  You’ve got a LONG way to go, with a lot more dramatic, long and emotionally draining rose ceremonies.

I wish you the best of luck, but you’re gonna have to toughen up.

Until next week, just living for the tens!

The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love

Well, the addiction continues.

Despite my growing complaints every season about the quality of the Bachelor/Bachelorette, I just can’t seem to give it up.  And last season did actually prove to be ‘the most dramatic season ever’ (as they always promise), so I’m hopeful this one will continue the trend.

Jake, an eliminated bachelor from Jillian’s season, would not have been my first pick.  Yes, he’s attractive.  Yes, he has a six pack (a requirement).  But I find him to be awkward and a bit artificial.  Either way, he seems nice enough, and genuine in his ‘search for love’ (another Bachelor catchphrase).

CORNY TITLE: 3.

This is the first season ever with it’s very own title, and I must confess I think it’s add a great deal to the corniness.  ’On the Wings of Love’ comes from Jake’s job as an airplane pilot.  This is also the first season ever where they’ve made such a big deal about their job.  This, however, I think is positive growth.  What you do for a living often has a huge impact on a relationship, yet in these shows they almost never seem to talk about it (either side) which makes me wonder how it could ever work out in real life.

Still corny.

THE PICKUP LINES: 6.

Please understand this is not at all for the quality, but for the absolute ridiculousness.  At the beginning of each season all 25 bachelors/bachelorettes drive up in limos, walk out and meet THE Bachelor/Bachelorette for the first time.  In the first seasons they would shake hands, hug, introduce themselves.  Well, somewhere along the line someone started bringing gifts, which raised the bar for everyone else.  Now there’s a mix of gifts, jokes, tricks (yes, someone seriously got him to look down at his shirt last night and then hit them in the nose), songs, dances and more.

Last night was certainly no exception.  Let’s see if I can remember the highlights…

• One girl brought a bag of jellybeans for all the other girls, as a parting gift for when they walked out the door.  Clearly she made a lot of friends last night.
• Another brought a coin and told him ‘I’ll make this real easy- heads I stay, tails I leave’.  Of course it landed on heads, and as she walked away he noticed it was a double-headed coin (?).  I actually kinda liked that girl…
• Another said something in Cambodian, her native language, which we later found out meant ‘You can land your plane on my landing strip any time.’  Whoah.  Moving on.

These are just a few highlights.  Pathetic, awkward and at times pretty uncomfortable.  However from the comfort of my living room I kind of enjoyed it…

THE GOLD DRESS IN THE FRONT ROW ON THE RIGHT SIDE: 8.

Of all the dresses last night I must say this one was my favorite.  -2 because I’m sure I couldn’t pull it off like she did so I’ll have to admire from afar.  But either way I think she looked great!

THE GREEN DRESS ALL THE WAY TO THE LEFT: 2

Not so much loving this one.  Or the fact that she cried when she was cut.  Seriously?  You’ve spoken with him for two minutes.  Don’t tell me you’re in love yet.  At least give it two dates.

GCHAT: 10!

Nothing makes the Season Premier better than sharing it with good girl friends.  In college we’d all sit around watching, making our predictions (and sealing them in an envelope) and running to the Eagle’s Nest (campus convenience store) during commercials.  Murph and Dakota seemed a little less than thrilled.  But thanks to GChat, Jill and I were able to continue our judgements as if we were still in a Hughes Hall dorm room.  I LOVE IT.

Next week the real drama begins… and thanks to People.com I already know what goes down!