The Bachelor: Brad’s Return

I have mixed feelings about the return of The Bachelor as as a show, and mixed feelings about the return of Bachelor Brad.

Let’s start with the show.  I’ve been addicted to the Bachelor nearly since Season 1, and the Monday nights spent in Hughes Hall at American University with three of the best girls ever only cemented the passion.  So once leaving college I couldn’t help but continue to watch, often having three online conversations at once discussing the ridiculousness that can only be found on a reality show like this.  However, once I began blogging about it, it became not only an addiction, but also a pretty serious time commitment.  To start with you’ve got the 2 hours every Monday spent watching it, then at least 2 additional hours blogging about it.  While I love judging each and every character on the show, I’m nervous about whether I can fit this into the busy life of a teacher. But what kind of fan would I be if I didn’t at least try?

So here we are, Episode 1 of Brad’s 2nd season on the show.  Some may remember the first season (I certainly do), others this may have been before your time.  If you’d like to take a trip down memory lane, you can check out more here.

The moral of the story is, Brad went through the entire season and didn’t choose either girl.  SHOCKING, I know.  Is it possible that after a month spent in the Bachelor mansion with 25 beautiful girls he might not fall in love?  The backlash was HUGE, and in my opinion pretty unfair.  God forbid he didn’t choose someone just to finish the season off right, and then break up a month later like every other couple.

So here we are, Brad Round 2.  I’ll be making my pick at the end of tonight’s show and sealing it in an envelope for the end of the season.  We’ll see if I can follow up on Gillian and Ed…

On to the ratings!  Let’s start with the important things.

BRAD’S BODY: 8

I can’t argue with giant muscles and a guy who clearly keeps in shape.  It looks good.  However, he runs funny (which has something to do with his body), and is a bit too bulky.  Over all I wouldn’t complain if my guy happened to look like that, but I think too many muscles leads to uncomfortable cuddling.

ABC’s EDITING CHOICES: 2

Is their goal to convince everyone in America that they don’t want to date ANY of these women?  A funeral director talking about where the Bachelor will be buried, a divorcee who is shown with her cats, a ‘Manscaper’ waxing all parts of bodies, a girl with Vampire teeth, and a woman who claims she’s already his wife.  I have to believe they filmed a lot for each of these girls, plus 20 girls they didn’t even show yet, and this is what they chose?  Oh boy. I’ll give them 2 points for the fact that I’m sure it’s gonna hook some people in.

OPENING LINES: 1

Mixed bag of opening lines, including a slap, obnoxious shoes, tons of awkwardness (on both sides), vampire teeth, a forced proposal, a girl jumping into his arms and a whole lot of talk about his last season.  Poor guy.  And all these awkward, weird girls.  The lines have consistently gotten worse over the years, and about this time every season I threaten to give up on the show.

This time I’m serious.  VAMPIRE TEETH???

That’s all for tonight friends.  We’ll see if I’m tempted next Monday, but I’ll be honest.  I may have just broken up with The Bachelor.

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