TV

The Bachelorette: Emily

I can’t do it.  I just can’t stay away.  Take away my cable, and I’ll watch it online.  Take away my time to blog, and I’ll just stop doing the other things on my to-do list.  There’s just something SO irresistible about The Bachelor and The Bachelorette.  It’s almost like these shows were MADE for Rate Your World.

So on to the ratings!

This season we have another leftover, this time Emily from Brad’s season.  I’m pretty sure I expressed the same thing about Brad, but if you mess up your first chance I’m not sure you should get a second one.  There’s already enough skepticism about whether this works, why would we bother putting someone on who’s already proved it didn’t work for them?

Guaranteed ratings, that’s why.  They know people will recognize her and watch because of it, so back she is.

EMILY’S ‘LOOK’: 6.5

Her normal clothes are cute (a bit on the dressy side for ‘normal’ clothes, but cute).  Her formal clothes are 80% pretty.  Her heels are too high and her hair is too perfect.  That said, she’s gorgeous.  If she laid off the makeup a little bit and swapped her giant heels for flats, this would go up about 2 points.  I’m curious to see what she pulls off the rest of the season.

DATE 1 WITH RYAN: 3

I totally get that these guys need a glimpse into her everyday life with Ricky.  But on Date 1? I’m not convinced that was very played with Ryan.  Then again, she doesn’t have to worry about playing anything well- she’s THE BACHELORETTE!  She can do what she wants.

And she will.

KALON: 5

Do I want to date him?  Nope.  He clearly puts more time into getting ready than I do, which is an obvious deal breaker.  Do I even want to be his friend?  Not really.  HOwever, I do think he’s been a bit misunderstood in this week’s episode.  If the other guys would get past his look (and the stupid helicopter), and actually listen to him, he’s not always wrong.  And he’s got a lot calmer temper than some of them (aka STEVIE).  I don’t think he’s going to win, but I do hope he sticks around long enough for the guys to actually listen and think, rather than follow the pack mentality that runs rampant on this show.

ALEJANDRO: 8

Ultimately, do I think that a 24 year-old mushroom farmer with pierced ears from California is the one Emily’s going to pick to father her children? Probably not.  Do I want to get to see his pretty face for another couple of weeks?  YOU. BET.  Put aside the fact that I clearly have a thing for Colombians, I think this guys got a good story behind that handsome face.  A story I’d like for him to have a chance to tell.  I’m rooting for you Alejandro!

And since I didn’t take notes this week, that’s all I have 😦  But you better believe I’m tackling next week with a notepad and pen and rating the heck out of The Bachelorette!

Until then, just living for the tens 🙂

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The Bachelor: Brad’s Return

I have mixed feelings about the return of The Bachelor as as a show, and mixed feelings about the return of Bachelor Brad.

Let’s start with the show.  I’ve been addicted to the Bachelor nearly since Season 1, and the Monday nights spent in Hughes Hall at American University with three of the best girls ever only cemented the passion.  So once leaving college I couldn’t help but continue to watch, often having three online conversations at once discussing the ridiculousness that can only be found on a reality show like this.  However, once I began blogging about it, it became not only an addiction, but also a pretty serious time commitment.  To start with you’ve got the 2 hours every Monday spent watching it, then at least 2 additional hours blogging about it.  While I love judging each and every character on the show, I’m nervous about whether I can fit this into the busy life of a teacher. But what kind of fan would I be if I didn’t at least try?

So here we are, Episode 1 of Brad’s 2nd season on the show.  Some may remember the first season (I certainly do), others this may have been before your time.  If you’d like to take a trip down memory lane, you can check out more here.

The moral of the story is, Brad went through the entire season and didn’t choose either girl.  SHOCKING, I know.  Is it possible that after a month spent in the Bachelor mansion with 25 beautiful girls he might not fall in love?  The backlash was HUGE, and in my opinion pretty unfair.  God forbid he didn’t choose someone just to finish the season off right, and then break up a month later like every other couple.

So here we are, Brad Round 2.  I’ll be making my pick at the end of tonight’s show and sealing it in an envelope for the end of the season.  We’ll see if I can follow up on Gillian and Ed…

On to the ratings!  Let’s start with the important things.

BRAD’S BODY: 8

I can’t argue with giant muscles and a guy who clearly keeps in shape.  It looks good.  However, he runs funny (which has something to do with his body), and is a bit too bulky.  Over all I wouldn’t complain if my guy happened to look like that, but I think too many muscles leads to uncomfortable cuddling.

ABC’s EDITING CHOICES: 2

Is their goal to convince everyone in America that they don’t want to date ANY of these women?  A funeral director talking about where the Bachelor will be buried, a divorcee who is shown with her cats, a ‘Manscaper’ waxing all parts of bodies, a girl with Vampire teeth, and a woman who claims she’s already his wife.  I have to believe they filmed a lot for each of these girls, plus 20 girls they didn’t even show yet, and this is what they chose?  Oh boy. I’ll give them 2 points for the fact that I’m sure it’s gonna hook some people in.

OPENING LINES: 1

Mixed bag of opening lines, including a slap, obnoxious shoes, tons of awkwardness (on both sides), vampire teeth, a forced proposal, a girl jumping into his arms and a whole lot of talk about his last season.  Poor guy.  And all these awkward, weird girls.  The lines have consistently gotten worse over the years, and about this time every season I threaten to give up on the show.

This time I’m serious.  VAMPIRE TEETH???

That’s all for tonight friends.  We’ll see if I’m tempted next Monday, but I’ll be honest.  I may have just broken up with The Bachelor.

Be Prepared…

Thanks to Jaci over at EverydaySassypants, I have one of my  lowest ratings in a long time.

Enticed by her lead-in, ‘It’s wrong how much I enjoyed this’, I HAD to watch the video.

I’m now sorry that I did.  So of course, my next move was to share with you all 🙂

Dr. Oz Demonstrates How to Properly Pop a Pimple

My rating is a 3, purely based on my amazement that Oprah is actually doing episodes like these, and the fact that I could almost not tear my eyes away (until the part at the end… you’ll know what I’m talking about).

Curious what your rating would be…

Until next time, always keeping it classy 🙂

The Bachelorette: Tatting it Up

ALI’S APPEARANCE ON A BIG SCREEN IN TIMES SQUARE: 0

Corny and embarrassing.  Enough said.

KASEY’S CATCH PHRASE: 0

If he says “I’m here to guard and protect her heart” one more time I’M gonna kick him off the show.  We get the point dude.  Now get off your soapbox.

ALI’S FEAR OF HEIGHTS: 2

Originally it was cute and a great excuse to cuddle up close to whoever she was on a date with at the time, I’m now past skeptical.  If you’re so scared of heights Ali, why are you flying somewhere on EVERY date?!

+2- I’m sure there’s some reality in it… somewhere.

THE WEATHERMAN: 9

-1 because I’m not convinced I’d actually date him, but other than that he’s HILARIOUS.  Seriously, I think he’s underrated.  The guy is constantly making funny jokes (especially this week’s bit about the sh*t storm), he’s clever, he’s definitely genuine, and most importantly he’s just a nice dude.

At one point on the group date he walks over to grab Ali and got the vibe he was interrupting some serious alone time.  So he offered to let them be and come back.  After all my many years of watching The Bachelor and Bachelorette, I’ve ALWAYS felt like this was something people should do more often, yet this is honestly the first time I’ve ever seen it done.

Ultimately he lost his one-on-one time, all in the spirit of being a good guy.  I’m actually pretty disappointed in Ali, who didn’t recognize this gesture, and ignored the fact that he should have gotten her attention next.  Definitely dropped her a couple points in my book.

I’m sad he left and hope he gets lots of dates from here on out.  You’re a good guy, weatherdude.

JESSE’S SEXINESS: 10

I’m sad to see him go only because I’ve totally loved watching him the past couple weeks.  Your beautiful face will be missed Jesse.

THIS PICTURE’S ABILITY TO DO HIS FACE JUSTICE: 0

KASEY’S TATTOO: 0

I want to start by saying that I do genuinely believe Kasey is here for the right reasons, and really wants to fall in love with Ali.

I also genuinely believe he’s crazy and his voice is incredibly annoying.

A tat dude?   Seriously?  Guarding her heart FOREVER?  Believe it or not friends, there is now someone more impulsive than me.  And a whole lot crazier.  Did I mention that yet?

Poor, poor decisions being made.

RANDOM DUDE: 2

Who the hell is this guy?  And how are we four episodes in and I don’t even know his name?  He must be super boring for the producers to cut out all of his commentary.

And he got a rose.  SERIOUSLY?  Have you spent any one-on-one time with Ali?

+2 cause he hasn’t done anything crazy.  Yet.  And he’s decent looking.  Minus the mullet.

ALI’S JUMPSUIT: 3

Is this fashionable now?  Took me a while to figure out exactly what was going on, but eventually I did.  Too loose on top, and not all that flattering.  Could be worse I suppose.

It also appears that ABC.com is hiding all evidence of the ugly jumpsuit, as no pictures could be found.

Interesting…

Until next week, just living for the tens 🙂

The Bachelorette: Ali’s Season

I’m going to admit two things up front:

1) I left the last season of The Bachelor with Jake disillusioned.  I didn’t like Jake from the start, and I definitely didn’t like his pick.  Plus the season was just more of the same, and I began to feel Bachelor-ed out.

Last night’s season premiere of Ali’s season felt the same way, and until the teaser at the very end I was convinced this would be the only episode I’d watch.  We’ll see how it turns out, but I’m not committing to a full-season, and am flirting with the idea of giving up the addiction.

2) I made the mistake of reading RealitySteve yesterday.  Known for his spoilers, I knew about Vienna last season far before the finale (although was in a denial for a long time, and was convinced he had gotten it wrong).  I read yesterday for some inside info on the start of the season, not at all expecting what I got: the final two guys.  This is going to limit some of what I write as I don’t want to give it away for anyone else, and am going to do my best to remain neutral towards all guys.

Who are we kidding.  While I won’t give away the final two, there will be no neutrality.  Some were just too ridiculous to get neutral treatment.  That being said, on with the ratings!

ALLIE’S AWKWARDNESS/NERVOUSNESS: 4

Totally understandable to be nervous before meeting the 25 men you will be interviewing for marriage on national TV.  I’m pretty sure she came off as more nervous than most of the guys (emphasis on MOST).  Luckily for her, I’m sure most guys didn’t notice because 1) they saw her for only about 5 minutes each and 2) they were probably more nervous than her.  As an at-home viewer, however, we got to suffer through it all.

I think this awkwardness is because of her young age, and I also think it will be a predictor of an immature season as a whole.  Ali is one of the youngest Bachelorette’s ever, and her collection of men is also one of the youngest- bound to create some college-style drama.

ALI’S OPENING LINE: 1

Right when Ali’s walks into the house after all the men arrive she gives a little speech, welcoming them and basically warning them not to hurt her.  She finishes with, ‘I just ask that you all have my back because I’ll have yours.’  Interesting… especially considering she’ll send home 24 throughout the season.  So it seems as if she might only have one guy’s back…

God this show has made me cynical.

KIRK’S SCRAPBOOK: 9

As we saw once again last night, every guy is working incredibly hard to be memorable.  While important on the first night, it’s still a bit ridiculous to watch since a first date would NEVER (at least I hope) start with the kinds of corniness we witnessed.

However one guy really seemed to get it right.  Kirk showed up for his one-on-one time with Ali with a homemade scrapbook.  While he got a little crap from some of the guys beforehand, I totally dug the idea.  You’re trying to present yourself in very little time, and rather than just talk about himself he put some important pictures and pages that represented big parts of who he was.  Far more interesting to be able to SEE what he’s actually done, rather than just hear him talk about it.

Way to go Kirk 🙂

ABC.COM: 9!

So impressed with some of the improvements between last season and this  season, including photos from the previous night’s episode, even organized by people in them!  This is going to make it super easy to find the photos I’m rating, something that never happened during Jake’s season.  Also a line of photos with all the men, including a rose under their name if they’re in, and no rose it they got cut.  This’ll make it easier to keep up 🙂  LOVE IT!

KASEY’S VOICE: 2

Please cut him soon so we don’t have to listen to this all season.  Please?

ALI’S FAKE LAUGH: 10

Thanks to Stallings for pointing this one out.  Either her fake laugh is the best I’ve ever heard, or she really thinks these guys are that funny.  Trust me, they’re not, so it’s one hell of a great laugh.

DEREK’S COMMENTS ABOUT HUNTER’S UKULELE: 10

So I’ve mentioned already some of the crazy things the men are doing to get her attention… one of which was Hunter’s decision to play her a song on the ukulele.  In front of everyone.

What I haven’t yet mentioned (in detail) are all the horrible things these guys have to say to and about each other.  To be fair, most are nice but a couple already stand out as being huge jerks who’d rather make everyone else look back then focus on making themselves look good.

However, when Hunter played the song on the ukulele they cut to a ‘confessional’ by Derek, where he was surprisingly kind to Hunter, something I totally dug.  His comments basically said he thought Hunter’s song was pretty great, and it made him wish he’d have tried a little harder to stand out and do something like that for Ali.  I liked the way he gave Hunter props for doing what he did, instead of talking trash about him because he’s jealous.

Cool points for you Derek.

Sadly nice guys finish last and Derek was sent home.

ALI’S DRESS ON JIMMY KIMMEL: 5

It has the potential to be cute, and the pattern and style are adorable.  But it does it fit her super weird and low or is it just me?

Until next week, just living for the tens!

The Bachelor: Jason & Molly’s Wedding

This post will need to begin with a little background info. on what went down two seasons ago on The Bachelor, and more importantly, the most dramatic ‘After the Final Rose’ EVER.

  • On the finale of The Bachelor: Jason’s season, Jason sends Molly packing and proposes to Melissa.  They’re overjoyed and jump in a pool.

  • Immediately after this airs, we head to ‘After the Final Rose’.  We see Jason with Melissa first.  Long-time fans are thinking… ‘This is weird.  Normally they bring out the rejected one first so they can chat, and then end happily ever after with the engaged couple being seen in public for the first time.”  Sure enough, he dumps Melissa on national television.

  • Next, out comes Molly, with no clue what just happened.  She’s expecting the classic ‘dumpee’ interview.  Instead she gets a ‘I still love you and want a second chance’ from Jason.
  • She’s shocked.  Not sure what to think.  ‘Is this a joke?’  Wait, don’t ask those questions.  This is what every dumpee wants… YES!  I’LL TAKE YOU BACK!  LET’S GET MARRIED!  Okay, not quite that dramatic, but she does agree to have a drink with him afterwards and talk about it.

  • We find out months later they are now engaged and in love.  ABC agrees to pay for their wedding if they air it on TV.

TA DA!  Here we are, March 8, and it’s their wedding day!

PLANNING YOUR WHOLE WEDDING IN ONE WEEKEND: 4

I can’t even imagine!  Weeks before the wedding and they had done nothing.  Your first reaction is “WTF?!”, but then you realize that the world’s best wedding planner, event planner, cake maker, jewelry designer, dress maker, etc. are all on your team to make this happen.

So actually, what could be better than spending a weekend in LA (for free) to do nothing but make decisions.  Then everyone else gets to work and you prepare to party.

I think this is how I’d like to get married.

WEDDING THEME: 8

I must admit, I totally dug their theme.  Especially when compared to Trista’s at the last Bachelor Wedding.  Pink anyone?

This one was a lot more natural and ‘earthy’, with lots of greens, browns and whites.  I loved all the leaves, and I especially loved the invitations 🙂

CORNINESS: 4

It’s to be expected that there’s going to be some corniness on a wedding show, but when Jason kept scanning Molly during the registry portion of the show, it was a bit much.

And I have to be honest, this was one of the first times in all of my time watching the show that I felt like they were acting.

SPONSORSHIP: 5

I completely understand, but it was EVERYWHERE!  This is how they finance an expensive wedding, and I don’t blame Molly and Jason a bit.  Everything for free?  Yes please!  I just couldn’t help but constantly notice the name brands that were popping up left and right.  And it was clear who paid… the apple symbol on several computers was strategically covered while there was no shame in the rest of the name dropping.

MOLLY’S REHEARSAL DINNER DRESS: 9

It took ‘little black dress’ to the next level.  Not plain at all, and looked INCREDIBLE on her.  -1 because it was surely donated by a top designer just to be seen on TV, meaning I can never score one for myself.  I’ll get over it.  In the meantime, loving it on her.

WEDDING PLANNER BITTERNESS: 2

Okay, so the weather wasn’t great.  In fact, it looked like a hurricane was about to happen.

“Normally there would be a Plan B, but that choice wasn’t made.  I would have made that choice, and we would have been nice and cozy and warm inside.”

Hmmm… do you really wanna call out the Bride and Groom on national TV on the day of their wedding?  Pretty sure that might not be a good idea… especially if you were hoping this spot would get your more business.

MOLLY’S HAIR: 6

After all the excitement about her celebrity hair-stylist, I must admit I was kind of embarrassed for her when I saw it. Thankfully they had recovered it by the time she walked down the aisle, but seriously, what was going on with the first run?

WEDDING WEATHER: 3

So the hurricane weather has to be minus a lot for:

1) almost ruining the outdoor wedding with no backup plan

2) freezing out all the guests

3) ruining the hairdos by the fabulous, famous hairdressers

HOWEVER, the rain gave way in time for the wedding, and Molly walked down the aisle to ‘Somewhere Over the Rainbow’ with an actual rainbow in the sky.  You can’t ask for much more than that 🙂  +3

NO ONE GIVING THEM AN UMBRELLA WHEN IT STARTED TO POUR DURING THEIR VOWS: 0

She’s wearing the most expensive outfit there, and it’s their wedding, yet everybody sits there watching, comfortable with their umbrellas, and no one gets up to cover them.  Totally shocked by this.  And disappointed.

THE PR SPIN BEHIND THE TELEVISED WEDDING: 8

After watching all of it, and listening to both their stories and the stories of their family and friends, I like Jason a bit more.  I’ve also decided this is why they decided to televise their wedding.  After the ‘horrible, terrible, awful, very bad year’ I can only imagine they wanted a way to win over the public again and hopefully put the lid on all the tabloid trash talk.

I think it may have worked.  After two hours of seeing them be pretty normal, and nice, people, it’s hard to still hate him.  Especially now that Melissa’s married too.  Everyone’s happy 🙂

NEXT WEEK’S ‘BEHIND THE ROSE’ 20/20 SPECIAL: 6

God these producers are good.  I thought I finally had my Monday nights back (BodyFlow anyone?) until I saw tonight’s ad for next week’s ‘Behind the Rose’ 20/20 special, with investigative reporting about the Bachelor.  I suppose I can give them one more week 🙂

Until then, just living for the tens!

The Bachelor: Season Finale

TENLEY’S IMPRESSION ON THE FAMILY: 10

In all my years watching The Bachelor (and The Bachelorette) I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a family visit go so well.  The father was in tears almost immediately, the mom was picturing her as part of the family, and the sister-in-laws loved her.  Everyone was convinced except for Jake.

VIENNA’S IMPRESSION ON THE FAMILY: 2

You couldn’t help but laugh at the start of Vienna’s family visit.  They were so charmed by Tenley, and Jake had already given them such a bad impression of Vienna, it was bound to not go well.  Her immaturity showed immediately, in her word choice, in the way she speaks, in the ‘playful’ way she answered their questions.

FAMILY: So what is it you like about Jake?  (a classic Bachelor family question)

VIENNA:  Ummmm… well…. I don’t wanna give him a big head (grin, haha).

Basically she didn’t even tell his family why it is she’s still there, and why she deserves the ring.

Then she goes on to tell them that none of the girls liked her because she tells it like she is.  One of the sister-in-laws asks if she thinks she’s pretty (since Vienna said she couldn’t lie), then if she looked fat in her outfit, to which Vienna thought it was appropriate to answer yes (‘jokingly’ of course).  AWKWARD.

She also had the nerve to talk trash about Tenley, the sweetest girl alive, behind her back.  Little did she know how much the family had loved her, therefore how much this probably hurt their impression of her.

I will admit she did a bit better in her one-on-two time with the sister-in-laws, and one-on-one time with the mom, hence the +2.

Overall this parent meeting was a bit painful to watch.  And I’m pretty sure Jake’s dad will never forgive him for not picking Tenley.

JAKE’S ADMISSION TO HIS DESIRE FOR A LITTLE ROUGH-HOUSING: 10

‘I’m not sure Tenley knows about my playful side- the side that comes from growing up with two brothers.  Basically, I don’t think she knows yet that if she stands on the edge of the pool, I’m gonna push her in.’

First thing he’s said all season that makes me like him.  A lot.

From the parental visits we moved on to the ‘last dates’.  I’ve got to give Vienna some credit here.

VIENNA’S LOVE NOTE: 8

While a bit cliche, the last note she wrote him did what she does best one last time.  From the very start Vienna has been super open with how she feels about Jake, and honestly I think this is one of the big reasons she stuck around.

We as audience members see all the confessionals, so know how much the women like Jake.  We forget that from his perspective, without them telling him, he might have very little idea what they’re feeling, and whether they’re into him.  He seems a bit insecure, so a woman who’s constantly telling him how she feels is pretty appealing.

However, I still don’t get what that ring is all about and why she felt the need to give it to him.

WEIRD, AWKWARD SHOTS WHERE THEY STAND AND STARE: 3

Especially the season finale, but really all throughout the season, we get these nice, beautiful long shots of women staring out over their balconies.  There’s no one who just does this naturally all the time, so all I can think about when I see them is how awkward it probably is when the producers ask them to stand on their balcony, or by the beach, or somewhere else equally beautiful, and look off thoughtfully.  I wonder if they’re actually thinking about Jake at all…

VIENNA’S TUTUS: 2

I’ve had just about enough of this one bikini we see Vienna in in almost every episode.  You know, the one with the tutu on the bottom.  JAKE- BUY HER A NEW BATHING SUIT.  One that might be worn by someone not on spring break, or 7 years old, please.

JAKE’S FAKE OUT: 3

I know The Bachelor has been on a while now, and each Bachelor/Bachelorette has to work hard to make their own special moment (aka the proposal) special, but Jake went out of his way to make Vienna think she was going home.  There’s a certain point where it’s just plain mean, and I think he hit that point.

TENLEY’S FAILURE TO COMMENT ON HER BROKEN DRESS: 0

Of course the first thing they do on ‘After the Final Rose’ is show the last 10 minutes of the show over again (despite the fact that we LITERALLY just saw it), but with an added screen showing Tenley’s face as she watches.

Well, as I’m sure everyone noticed, the back of her dress appeared to have broken open right before walking up to Jake.  It appeared ripped, and was practically hanging open.

When they cut back to her after the clip I couldn’t believe she didn’t comment on it!  It seemed like it would have been an appropriate response when Jake first asks ‘So what were you thinking as you watched that again?’

I think this quote sums up the evening:

‘I feel like I’m trying to talk people into Vienna…’

Welcome to your new life Jake.

ALI AS THE NEXT BACHELORETTE: 8

I have a theory about this…

Ali makes it into the final four… she kinda likes Jake and is having fun, but realizes out of the four left she’s got the best chance of being the next Bachelorette (since every Bachelorette has come from the Bachelor season before, this is a pretty safe bet).

So, rather than take her chances sticking around, meaning she might have to actually be with him, she makes up the fact that her job ‘won’t let her stay’.  She leaves dramatically, allowing everyone to still love her AND giving her a shot at Bachelorette (since if she chose to leave because she didn’t like Jake enough I’m pretty sure she’d be out of the funning).

Now all of a sudden her work is okay with an even longer extended break… interesting.

-2 for the sketchy manipulation, but other than that I kinda like her, AND it guarantees yet another season of Bachelor(ette) ratings!

Well, that’s it for this season friends!  Until next season, just living for the tens 🙂