The Bachelorette

The Bachelorette: Emily

I can’t do it.  I just can’t stay away.  Take away my cable, and I’ll watch it online.  Take away my time to blog, and I’ll just stop doing the other things on my to-do list.  There’s just something SO irresistible about The Bachelor and The Bachelorette.  It’s almost like these shows were MADE for Rate Your World.

So on to the ratings!

This season we have another leftover, this time Emily from Brad’s season.  I’m pretty sure I expressed the same thing about Brad, but if you mess up your first chance I’m not sure you should get a second one.  There’s already enough skepticism about whether this works, why would we bother putting someone on who’s already proved it didn’t work for them?

Guaranteed ratings, that’s why.  They know people will recognize her and watch because of it, so back she is.

EMILY’S ‘LOOK’: 6.5

Her normal clothes are cute (a bit on the dressy side for ‘normal’ clothes, but cute).  Her formal clothes are 80% pretty.  Her heels are too high and her hair is too perfect.  That said, she’s gorgeous.  If she laid off the makeup a little bit and swapped her giant heels for flats, this would go up about 2 points.  I’m curious to see what she pulls off the rest of the season.

DATE 1 WITH RYAN: 3

I totally get that these guys need a glimpse into her everyday life with Ricky.  But on Date 1? I’m not convinced that was very played with Ryan.  Then again, she doesn’t have to worry about playing anything well- she’s THE BACHELORETTE!  She can do what she wants.

And she will.

KALON: 5

Do I want to date him?  Nope.  He clearly puts more time into getting ready than I do, which is an obvious deal breaker.  Do I even want to be his friend?  Not really.  HOwever, I do think he’s been a bit misunderstood in this week’s episode.  If the other guys would get past his look (and the stupid helicopter), and actually listen to him, he’s not always wrong.  And he’s got a lot calmer temper than some of them (aka STEVIE).  I don’t think he’s going to win, but I do hope he sticks around long enough for the guys to actually listen and think, rather than follow the pack mentality that runs rampant on this show.

ALEJANDRO: 8

Ultimately, do I think that a 24 year-old mushroom farmer with pierced ears from California is the one Emily’s going to pick to father her children? Probably not.  Do I want to get to see his pretty face for another couple of weeks?  YOU. BET.  Put aside the fact that I clearly have a thing for Colombians, I think this guys got a good story behind that handsome face.  A story I’d like for him to have a chance to tell.  I’m rooting for you Alejandro!

And since I didn’t take notes this week, that’s all I have 😦  But you better believe I’m tackling next week with a notepad and pen and rating the heck out of The Bachelorette!

Until then, just living for the tens 🙂

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The Bachelorette: Tatting it Up

ALI’S APPEARANCE ON A BIG SCREEN IN TIMES SQUARE: 0

Corny and embarrassing.  Enough said.

KASEY’S CATCH PHRASE: 0

If he says “I’m here to guard and protect her heart” one more time I’M gonna kick him off the show.  We get the point dude.  Now get off your soapbox.

ALI’S FEAR OF HEIGHTS: 2

Originally it was cute and a great excuse to cuddle up close to whoever she was on a date with at the time, I’m now past skeptical.  If you’re so scared of heights Ali, why are you flying somewhere on EVERY date?!

+2- I’m sure there’s some reality in it… somewhere.

THE WEATHERMAN: 9

-1 because I’m not convinced I’d actually date him, but other than that he’s HILARIOUS.  Seriously, I think he’s underrated.  The guy is constantly making funny jokes (especially this week’s bit about the sh*t storm), he’s clever, he’s definitely genuine, and most importantly he’s just a nice dude.

At one point on the group date he walks over to grab Ali and got the vibe he was interrupting some serious alone time.  So he offered to let them be and come back.  After all my many years of watching The Bachelor and Bachelorette, I’ve ALWAYS felt like this was something people should do more often, yet this is honestly the first time I’ve ever seen it done.

Ultimately he lost his one-on-one time, all in the spirit of being a good guy.  I’m actually pretty disappointed in Ali, who didn’t recognize this gesture, and ignored the fact that he should have gotten her attention next.  Definitely dropped her a couple points in my book.

I’m sad he left and hope he gets lots of dates from here on out.  You’re a good guy, weatherdude.

JESSE’S SEXINESS: 10

I’m sad to see him go only because I’ve totally loved watching him the past couple weeks.  Your beautiful face will be missed Jesse.

THIS PICTURE’S ABILITY TO DO HIS FACE JUSTICE: 0

KASEY’S TATTOO: 0

I want to start by saying that I do genuinely believe Kasey is here for the right reasons, and really wants to fall in love with Ali.

I also genuinely believe he’s crazy and his voice is incredibly annoying.

A tat dude?   Seriously?  Guarding her heart FOREVER?  Believe it or not friends, there is now someone more impulsive than me.  And a whole lot crazier.  Did I mention that yet?

Poor, poor decisions being made.

RANDOM DUDE: 2

Who the hell is this guy?  And how are we four episodes in and I don’t even know his name?  He must be super boring for the producers to cut out all of his commentary.

And he got a rose.  SERIOUSLY?  Have you spent any one-on-one time with Ali?

+2 cause he hasn’t done anything crazy.  Yet.  And he’s decent looking.  Minus the mullet.

ALI’S JUMPSUIT: 3

Is this fashionable now?  Took me a while to figure out exactly what was going on, but eventually I did.  Too loose on top, and not all that flattering.  Could be worse I suppose.

It also appears that ABC.com is hiding all evidence of the ugly jumpsuit, as no pictures could be found.

Interesting…

Until next week, just living for the tens 🙂

The Bachelorette: Ali’s Season

I’m going to admit two things up front:

1) I left the last season of The Bachelor with Jake disillusioned.  I didn’t like Jake from the start, and I definitely didn’t like his pick.  Plus the season was just more of the same, and I began to feel Bachelor-ed out.

Last night’s season premiere of Ali’s season felt the same way, and until the teaser at the very end I was convinced this would be the only episode I’d watch.  We’ll see how it turns out, but I’m not committing to a full-season, and am flirting with the idea of giving up the addiction.

2) I made the mistake of reading RealitySteve yesterday.  Known for his spoilers, I knew about Vienna last season far before the finale (although was in a denial for a long time, and was convinced he had gotten it wrong).  I read yesterday for some inside info on the start of the season, not at all expecting what I got: the final two guys.  This is going to limit some of what I write as I don’t want to give it away for anyone else, and am going to do my best to remain neutral towards all guys.

Who are we kidding.  While I won’t give away the final two, there will be no neutrality.  Some were just too ridiculous to get neutral treatment.  That being said, on with the ratings!

ALLIE’S AWKWARDNESS/NERVOUSNESS: 4

Totally understandable to be nervous before meeting the 25 men you will be interviewing for marriage on national TV.  I’m pretty sure she came off as more nervous than most of the guys (emphasis on MOST).  Luckily for her, I’m sure most guys didn’t notice because 1) they saw her for only about 5 minutes each and 2) they were probably more nervous than her.  As an at-home viewer, however, we got to suffer through it all.

I think this awkwardness is because of her young age, and I also think it will be a predictor of an immature season as a whole.  Ali is one of the youngest Bachelorette’s ever, and her collection of men is also one of the youngest- bound to create some college-style drama.

ALI’S OPENING LINE: 1

Right when Ali’s walks into the house after all the men arrive she gives a little speech, welcoming them and basically warning them not to hurt her.  She finishes with, ‘I just ask that you all have my back because I’ll have yours.’  Interesting… especially considering she’ll send home 24 throughout the season.  So it seems as if she might only have one guy’s back…

God this show has made me cynical.

KIRK’S SCRAPBOOK: 9

As we saw once again last night, every guy is working incredibly hard to be memorable.  While important on the first night, it’s still a bit ridiculous to watch since a first date would NEVER (at least I hope) start with the kinds of corniness we witnessed.

However one guy really seemed to get it right.  Kirk showed up for his one-on-one time with Ali with a homemade scrapbook.  While he got a little crap from some of the guys beforehand, I totally dug the idea.  You’re trying to present yourself in very little time, and rather than just talk about himself he put some important pictures and pages that represented big parts of who he was.  Far more interesting to be able to SEE what he’s actually done, rather than just hear him talk about it.

Way to go Kirk 🙂

ABC.COM: 9!

So impressed with some of the improvements between last season and this  season, including photos from the previous night’s episode, even organized by people in them!  This is going to make it super easy to find the photos I’m rating, something that never happened during Jake’s season.  Also a line of photos with all the men, including a rose under their name if they’re in, and no rose it they got cut.  This’ll make it easier to keep up 🙂  LOVE IT!

KASEY’S VOICE: 2

Please cut him soon so we don’t have to listen to this all season.  Please?

ALI’S FAKE LAUGH: 10

Thanks to Stallings for pointing this one out.  Either her fake laugh is the best I’ve ever heard, or she really thinks these guys are that funny.  Trust me, they’re not, so it’s one hell of a great laugh.

DEREK’S COMMENTS ABOUT HUNTER’S UKULELE: 10

So I’ve mentioned already some of the crazy things the men are doing to get her attention… one of which was Hunter’s decision to play her a song on the ukulele.  In front of everyone.

What I haven’t yet mentioned (in detail) are all the horrible things these guys have to say to and about each other.  To be fair, most are nice but a couple already stand out as being huge jerks who’d rather make everyone else look back then focus on making themselves look good.

However, when Hunter played the song on the ukulele they cut to a ‘confessional’ by Derek, where he was surprisingly kind to Hunter, something I totally dug.  His comments basically said he thought Hunter’s song was pretty great, and it made him wish he’d have tried a little harder to stand out and do something like that for Ali.  I liked the way he gave Hunter props for doing what he did, instead of talking trash about him because he’s jealous.

Cool points for you Derek.

Sadly nice guys finish last and Derek was sent home.

ALI’S DRESS ON JIMMY KIMMEL: 5

It has the potential to be cute, and the pattern and style are adorable.  But it does it fit her super weird and low or is it just me?

Until next week, just living for the tens!